Sharks At Canucks Preview: More Human Than Human

Keep your head up, punk. We're coming for ya. - Thearon W. Henderson
Time Tues. 7:00 PM PST
TV Sportsnet Vancouver
Season Series 1-0 Sharks
Last Meeting
4-1 Sharks, Oct. 3/13
The Enemy Fear The Fin Scoring Leaders D. Sedin: 2-4-6
Hertl: 6-1-7

SHARKS
CATEGORY
CANUCKS
3-0-0 SEASON RECORD 3-1-0
6 POINTS 6
1st CONFERENCE POSITION (tied for 1st)
Won 3
STREAK Won 3
- LAST 10 -
0-0-0 ROAD RECORD / HOME RECORD 2-0-0
5.61 (1)
GOALS PER GAVE AVERAGE 3.75 (5)
1.33 (5) GOALS AGAINST PER GAME AVERAGE 3.00 (20)
5.50 (1) 5 ON 5 GF / GA 0.80 (18)
26.7 (10) POWER PLAY % 13.3 (21)
80.0 (15) PENALTY KILL % 100 (1)
49.1 (20) FACEOFF WINS % 51.6 (12)
49 (27) HITS
75 (15)
48 (11) BLOCKED SHOTS 56 (6)
9 (7) MINOR PENALTIES TAKEN 18 (26)
NHL.COM

There is an unsuspected leader in NHL goals scored and points: 19 year-old Czech-native Tomas Hertl. 6 goals and 7 points in 3 games played so far. There is a Shark leading the NHL in plus/minus: defenceman Jason Demers. Hertl is 2nd in that category. Is Hertl "more human than human?" These things shall pass, believe me. What is likely less of an anomaly is that Henrik Sedin is leading the NHL in assists. It actually may surprise some people because the flavor of the summer was that the Sedins are getting older and were likely to regress in scoring this season. At this point, and it's early, they look like they are poised to have stellar seasons barring injury.

The Sharks are off to a 3-0-0 start but who cares? Am I worried about them taking the West this year? Nope. Even if they did, we can almost be assured that they will fail in the playoffs. This team is the epitome of doing well in the regular season but failing to get it done in the post season. Is there a team out there that is a bigger letdown to their fans than the Sharks and Capitals? A team that gets their fans' hopes up so high only to shit the bed when it matters most? At least the Canucks have made the Finals. The Sharks never have in their putrid existence. Just letdown after letdown. Making Joe Thornton the face of their franchise? Ugh. What a perimeter-playing, diving, over-hyped fail. Somewhere along the line the hockey gods decided that this team would be littered in defacation. The ultimate proof:

At the hands of the mighty Canucks too yet.

It doesn't matter how many coaches they go through, not even that drunken bum-on-the-street-looking Todd McLellan will lead them to the promised land. Keep acquiring different goalies...it ain't gonna help. Niemi's parent's should be slapped for spelling his first name wrong: It's A-U-N-T-I-E. Jeeziz get it right.

So, yea, these guys are off to a flying start, but don't get too high on them. They will disappear when it matters most.

The Canucks however, are looking like the troops of doom under John Tortorella. The intensity in their game is so refreshing to watch after 2 blah-blah seasons. My concern here is how long they can keep this pace up. Torts is basically running 3 lines. I'd like to see more of the 4th line to balance that out a bit. Zack Kassian has one more game left under his suspension. That helps. Alexandre Burrows was loosely projected to miss 2 weeks by Tortorella. I think it's going to be more like 4 weeks, given that he was wearing a boot after that game when he was injured blocking a shot. Canucks injuries are a well-kept secret under this new staff. How is Jordan Schroeder progressing? Who knows?

PROJECTED LINES

CANUCKS

Sedin-Sedin-Hansen

Booth-Kesler-Higgins

Weise-Richardson-Santorelli

Sestito-Dalpe-Weber

Garrison-Bieksa

Hamhuis-Edler

Stanton-Tanev

Luongo

SHARKS

Hertl-Thornton-Burns

Kennedy-Couture-Marleau

Nieto-Pavelski-Wingels

Sheppard-Desjardins-McCarthy

Irwin-Boyle

Vlasic-Braun

Demers-????

Niemi

Brad Stuart has been suspended for 3 games for doing this:

Dirty Sharks. What a shameful team. full of filthy whiners.

But they do have Raffi Torres...somewhere. He's injured though. Aside from Raffi ...a bunch of fiends. They got rid of diaper-wearing Ryane Clowe and they are still the biggest bunch of babies in the NHL.

Thank god this game is in Vancouver. Why? Because this is one of the lamest fan participation gestures I have ever seen:

What the hell? Are you all 4 years old? Do you know how stupid that looks? That doesn't symbolize a Shark's jaws. It symbolizes what happens to Shark fans' dreams every post season: eaten up and puked out as waste.

SCORE-PREDICTING WIZARDS UPDATE

Coach Ryan: 2

Nathaniel Perlow: 2

nucksandpucks: 2

Passive Voice: 2

Tim Burke: 2

Vancouverguy: 2

Zanstorm: 2

gmonk33: 1

Tengeresz: 1

vancitydan:1

The title of this sarcastic preview post has been brought to you by White Zombie:

GO CANUCKS GO! Waste these overrated sh*tbags!

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