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A Joke For The Guys

Yes, this was emailed to me today and I am posting it on here for a change up. This joke in no way is how I feel about my wife.

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy...it is GREAT!



I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women with their

heart.


FOR EXAMPLE:


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,

the

passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it,

I

just want you to hold me.'


I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'


So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...


'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'


She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for

who

I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep..


The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to

take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'


We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have

thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was

testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even

know how to play tennis.


I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was

almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling

with

excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's

go

to the cashier.'


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel

like it.'


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

'WHAT?'


I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're

just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to

satisfy

your shopping needs as a woman.'


And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

'Why

can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least the bitch

knows

I'm smarter than her.

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