Good morning, everyone. Thank fuck you cannot smell my breath today. Coffee and curry? Christ, someone's in trouble. Anyways, we've got some fake season news, little hope for a full 82 game REAL NHL season and more! Lets get at it!

Canucks News:

>> Game six of the fake Canucks season has come and gone, now we're fortunate enough to have Wyatt "Goin for a dart" Arndt and J "Insert NWO reference" Bowman host fake sports center together.

>> Ben "The Ghost Face Killa" Kuzma shapped with Dan Hamhuis on how there is little hope for an 82 game season.

>> Brad "I will never drink another Zima" Ziemer says even if the NHL lockout ends, Canucks prospect Nicklas Jensen is likely to stay in Sweden.

>> Also talking about Nicklas Jensen is Daniel Wagner from Pass it to Bulis. He even has video!

That looks like that's all for Canucks news. Shit.

The Other Guys:

>> Obama shappin' NHL? Yeah, well it happened.

>> Denis Potivin cried into his pillow for hours after he found out about the Islanders relocating to Brooklyn.

>> Tomas Kabrle has left his Czech league team and returned to North America. He signed a one month contract. Seems odd.

>> Jonas "It's Yonas, not Jonas, asshole" Enroth has signed with a third division Swedish league team.

>> And just as fast as a Czech league loses a player, it gains one. Martin Hanzel is headed overseas.

That's all for me today, everyone. Enjoy your days and never start it with spicy curry. What the fuck was I thinking?!

Thanks for reading!

- Mitch