Self-Defence: The Way of Mar-Chan
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 12:42 AM PST
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A look at the Ancient Art of Mar-Chan and how it applies to modern day unarmed combat.
Self Defence. It means different things to different people. For some it means the protection of your Home and Nation in the face of outside aggression.
(The Russian means "Organise Self-Defence groups for your homes", Homes.)
For others it's about protecting your person, and those near to you in more individual hostile situations. Like a Bruins press conference.
For still more, Self Defence is about teaching yourself discipline and restraint. And moving really, really slowly.
But for some, more enlightened individuals, Self Defence is a means of pure expression, of defining yourself utterly. Of knocking the other guys brains around.
So, we are proud to present the amazing Art of Mar-Chan.
Picture the scene. There you are, minding your own business over by the corner. Suddenly you glance up..
OH NO!! It's SA-LO, Master Ninja of Evil.. and he's about to chop off all your limbs dragon kick you in the balls challenge you for the puck!!
Luckily you are a Master of Mar-Chan and can easily defend yourself against attack by Blood-Crazed Finns!!
First: Get as low as you can go (actually, it's better if you go even lower in the media later)
Then, using opponents own weight, velocity (and tendency to get injured by a strong wind) against him..
Congratulations! Now while your foe is being helped to the Quiet Room you can leave the arena to the cheers of your loyal followers, safe in the knowledge that you have saved the day and there's no way anything bad is going to happen to your comrades in, oh, say, the next five minutes.
MAR-CHAN!! Way Of The Flaming Douchebag!!
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BONZAI
I bow to your humour skills mightymike-san
Nuck’s Misconduct Bishop, 1st United Church of Luongod. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Gandhi. I think he was a Canucks fan...
@Vancitydan Writer at Nucks Misconduct
Bonzai?
isn’t that, like, these really small trees that jump out on you with nunchuks?
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 6:40 AM PST up reply actions
ummm yeah
missed the Karate Kid reference?
BANZAAAAAAIIIIII Daniel – san
Nuck’s Misconduct Bishop, 1st United Church of Luongod. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Gandhi. I think he was a Canucks fan...
@Vancitydan Writer at Nucks Misconduct
sorry!
haven’t seen the Karate Kid since I was a nipper (hint: it wouldn’t have been out very long at that point!)
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 9:15 AM PST up reply actions
*shakes head*
gaijin
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
also known as a "pun" or "play on words" (c) Terry Pratchett
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 11:51 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
For alluding to Pratchett you just got 100 cool points my good sir.
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
yeah.. TP rules... but..
have you read “Snuff”? It’s disjointed, self-referential and (heresy, I know) Not Very Good… looks like the disease is starting to catch up with him. So effing sad.
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 12:08 PM PST up reply actions
I actually really enjoyed it
I think it was paced a little differently than his recent offerings have been. And it wasn’t until the second reading that the whole Fred Colon saga was sorted out for me. First reading through that wasn’t entirely clear for me though.
I think some of the Wilikens content was just a little bit more than it needed to be, got it, established, Wilikens is a bad man that is not to be trifled with.
But I like how Pratchett gives me a sense that there’s a lot happening in the world he’s writing. As though when I close the book there are all these normal people leading normal lives all over the disc. And some of them have interesting stories just like Vimes.
But that’s my 2 bits
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
I'm with you on that one...
but all the references back to “Thud”.. well, you don’t normally see that in the Discworld… each book is usually capable of standing alone.. and yes, the Wiliklins as Badass stuff was better implied in earlier books.. did not need constant re-stating. But the poor guy’s brain is turning into mush.. pure evil. It makes me want to weep.
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 1:18 PM PST up reply actions
See
I think Pratchett has earned the right as the author to expect you to have read the previous books. If someone is going from Guards! Guards! directly to Thud or directly to Night Watch they wouldn’t make sense either.
If I were a casual fan, isntead of a border-line nut bar, I think the referential element would bother me more. But the other thing I like about Sir Terry is that you get rewarded for being a nut bar fan like me. The small cameos for favorite characters, like Nobby in Hogfather. Or remembering lines from one book, becoming catch phrases in another. I dig that.
But the fact that his healthy braincells are now doing battle with lazy, lay-about, confused braincells makes me sad as well. Whenever he has to finally hang it up, will be a sad day for me.
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
Now that's the proper way to make light of this.
Well done!
“Then, using opponents own weight, velocity and tendency to get injured by a strong wind against him..”
I sort of thought that would get taken into consideration during the phone call though :-/
I have, but one rec to give, and give, I shall.
This is hilarious. Great work, Mike!
Frequent visitor to Nucks Misconduct.
post this at SCoC!
Epic win
"Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do."
Dropping F-bombs since the early 70's.
'Nucks Misconduct Sr. VP of Inappropriateness and Questionable Conduct, second director of immaturity. @Twitchy67
I'm already banned from SLGT...
not that keen too add to the pile…
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 12:25 PM PST up reply actions
I’m more a Bruins fan than a Nucks fan (Couver is my West team). And I thought this was funny. Now I think there would be some members of SCoC that would not respond to this as well. Just like if someone were to photoshop together a “Burrows Guide to Dental Hygiene” some folks on Misconduct would like it and some folks wouldn’t find it as amusing.
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
I would find it amusing!
I would also like to see the Maxim Lapierre Guide to Buddhist Meditation (subtitled “quietly turning the other cheek”)
I’ve got to learn how to post pictures to this blog one day…
hum
this is my normal, refelexive Maxim LaP joke.. based on his close resemblance to a small lemur-like creature from the Island of Madagascar …. bear in mind, I AM a Hawks fan…
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 1:40 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Not a very good comparison...
…the guy on the left has a closed mouth.
by FormerHab on Jan 11, 2012 2:10 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
what he said
also, clearly the guy on the left is a lemur and the guy on the right is a rat.
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
Top notch, Mike!
Great work, seriously.
The picture with Salo upside-down, and Marchand celebrating is priceless – unless you are Salo, of course. Sorry Sami, I really like you, but this is just art.
Los Angeles, CA
Kasparaitis' testimonial put it over the top.
Loved it, Mike! And a rec for you!
Work hard, play harder, rest easy.
I had to go and look up other famous clips..
and the Kaspar one is pretty savage.. as one comment says “Now I know why they’ve started targeting the head”
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 11:52 AM PST up reply actions
Unimportant except to me...
I think your Russian translation is off… it says “Destroy the fascists at land and at sea”
I'll believe you..
this popped up on a Google search for “Self Defence” and they provided the translation… I’ll fire some of my Research-Elves though… and I still think that guy looks like Ovie..
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 12:21 PM PST up reply actions
"Mr Nazi,
Do not think of thees bayonet as beeg… the Universe is humangous beeg and thees is yust a leetle point"
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 1:20 PM PST up reply actions
and no one has mentioned
me referring to my favourite Vancouver band… NM, I am dissapoint
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
dont see it...
"Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do."
Dropping F-bombs since the early 70's.
'Nucks Misconduct Sr. VP of Inappropriateness and Questionable Conduct, second director of immaturity. @Twitchy67
NoMeansNo?
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 1:28 PM PST up reply actions
oh heh
wayyyy too subtle…
"Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do."
Dropping F-bombs since the early 70's.
'Nucks Misconduct Sr. VP of Inappropriateness and Questionable Conduct, second director of immaturity. @Twitchy67
oh, and, in the interests of balance
here’s a positive Bruins story
Marc Savard: Class Act (and fuck Matt Cooke)
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
see the
“Fuck Matt Cooke” bit.. I am agree.
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 9:15 PM PST up reply actions
I like him too
a shame they trotted him out to talk to the media about the dangers of a guy like Sami Salo for what Ratboy did.
Matt Cooke has changed his game, which is more than we can expect from the other
Nuck’s Misconduct Bishop, 1st United Church of Luongod. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Gandhi. I think he was a Canucks fan...
@Vancitydan Writer at Nucks Misconduct
I'll buy the 'New Improved Matt Cooke'
and hopefully the Leopard can change his Shorts (ref. for KungFuGuy)…
Doesn’t excuse his long, long history of asshattery.. but maybe redemption beckons.. and if so for Cooke then maybe for Marchand.. but I wouldn’t bet on it, either!
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 11, 2012 9:20 PM PST up reply actions
Wysh suggested campaigning Cooke for the Byng if he stays out of trouble and keep it clean for the rest of the season.. and also keep up his point production… Ironically, that might have merit. Can anyone think of the reform working better than in this particular instance?
Frequent visitor to Nucks Misconduct.
by Vancouverguy on Jan 11, 2012 11:25 PM PST up reply actions
I am proud of the Cooker.
Contributor at Nucks Misconduct
by Sean Zandberg on Jan 12, 2012 12:44 AM PST up reply actions
Matt Cooke
has 75 hits in 42 games, 6 behing Craig Adams at 81 in the same games.
He is 13th on his team with 14 minutes, all minors. MIght be too many minutes as the Byng goes by the end of the year, but if he can keep it under 30, and still keep those hits up…
That is a fantastic idea.
Nuck’s Misconduct Bishop, 1st United Church of Luongod. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Gandhi. I think he was a Canucks fan...
@Vancitydan Writer at Nucks Misconduct
Fantastic idea but you know it would never happen.
Contributor at Nucks Misconduct
by Sean Zandberg on Jan 12, 2012 12:46 AM PST up reply actions
I think he’s deserving…. those penalties don’t mean very much if they are kinda ticky-tack stuff. It’s not like many (any) of them were malicious penalties.
Frequent visitor to Nucks Misconduct.
by Vancouverguy on Jan 13, 2012 12:27 PM PST up reply actions
I'll have to say this
but Kudos to the Ludovico Technique..
all Cooke looking like this
while watching this
"Kevin, You can't play Doom Metal while wearing a scarf"
by mightymike D on Jan 13, 2012 3:08 PM PST up reply actions
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