And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with more Red Sox failure)

Not the angriest of Spartans, Mancari preferred a nice glass of wine over fighting

Is he, or isn't he? That is the question on all of our minds. Well, on my mind. The question you ask? Is Mark MANcari playing tonight? I have no idea! I pray that he is, but I don't know yet. So instead, I will wait, and hope, that the Pre-Season Champ gets his shot at playing tonight. With that being said, I feel people don't know Mark well enough, so I did some extensive research on Mark, and wish to share it with you all, so you can have a better idea of just what makes Mark tick.

- Mark's favorite sport growing up was not hockey, but was in fact competitive gymnastics. "I just remember seeing a girl chasing a ribbon on TV when I was young, and I was hooked ever since. You can say getting hit in hockey is tough, but have you tried balancing on a small piece of wood? That's intense my friend." explains Mancari

- Mancari's favorite movie? Was it Top Gun? Was it Gladiator? Was it the Goonies? Nope. "My favorite movie growing up? It had to be Rocky 3. Clubber Lang, one of the all time underrated champions. What do you mean it was just a movie? Get out." screamed Mark, covering up his Clubber Lang tattoo from the cameras.

 - Mark's Italian, so you have to figure he loves pasta, right? WRONG. "I don't like pasta to be honest. I just find spaghetti very intimidating."

CONTINUE READING. NOW.

 - Mark's favorite TV show? I assume MANcari had to love 24. But I was wrong. "Jack Bauer, yeah, I get that people like him and all because on TV he looks really cool. But it's just so fake, right? I mean, oh wait, hold on-" At this point Mark pulled out a gun and shot three terrorists coming into the room behind me. " Anyways, as I was saying, it's all Hollywood, stuff just doesn't happen like that." continued Mark.

- Mark's favorite song? I figured for MANcari it had to be some sort of pulse pounding heavy metal group. Again, I was wrong. "My favorite song? Well, it's not really a song, so much as a sound. My favorite sound is the sound of Brad Marchand weeping as I punch him over and over and OVER again. I'M COMING FOR YOU BRAD. THE REAPER IS COMING."

I had many more questions to ask, but Mark noticed one of the terrorists was still alive, so he began to pump him for information. I felt it best to leave at that point. I hope we all feel like we know Mark a bit better now and that this helps you get on board the MANcari train. Remember, a vote for MANcari is a vote for saving the world.

 

Today's news is sponsored by.....this.....

Alexander_edler_medium

I know a lot of girls love Edler, and I don't want guys to be left out, so I combined the best of both worlds so we can all enjoy him. Don't say I've never done anything for you guys.

 

Vancouver Canuck News:

  • Mike Modano has retired. Yes, Napoleon Dynamite has finally hung up the skates. Why is this filed under Canuck news you ask? Because apparently the Canucks asked Modano to join the team about a week ago. At this point I assume Mike Gillis is playing some sort of perverse game of Old Man Pokemon and is intent upon his mission to "collect them all". Please tell me that Kris Draper is not in the country at the moment... Read more about Mike's retirement, and what he plans to do with his hot wife (Knitting would not be the answer) over at [Vancouver Sun]
  • The previews of our team continue to roll in from other cities, and the Colorado blogging community has stepped up to the plate in this latest offering. To be fair, it's a pretty good preview, they seem to know a decent amount about the team. The only part that amused me was describing Jannik Hansen as Maxim Lapierre vs 2.0 . Hansen is pretty far removed from the type of game Maxim brings to the table, but it's nice to know that hard work and busting your ass really really annoys the other team. See Todd? You could have just done that to annoy other fans instead of punching Steve Moore. [Mile High Hockey]
  • Sometimes players can be real jerks. I thought I would be able to make fun of Anders Eriksson all pre-season long but Brad Ziemer has an interview with him where he comes off as a really nice guy, who knows his limitations as a player. Damnit Anders! Now I need to find another d-man to make fun of. But who to choose... [Vancouver Sun]
  • Steve Pinizzotto, or as I call him, the mortal enemy of Mark Mancari, is getting a lot of praise for his first game with the team. I begrudgingly have to agree with the praise, as Steve had himself an excellent game for us. But since I am biased and want Mark to make the team, I think we can all agree Pinizzotto hit the height of his career last game and is now quickly tumbling downwards. Right? Guys? Guys? Anyways, Hosea Cheung caught up with Steve to talk to him about his first game, if you're into the sort of thing where a guy brags about himself. [Slam Sports]
  • BLEACHER REPORT! I remember my first article on here, I linked to Bleacher and got crap for it. But guess what? They're baaaaaaaaaaaack. And this time they ask the question we've ALL been asking. Is this Cody Hodgsons LAST chance to make the team??? ZOMG! Find out at [Bleacher Report]
  • You've probably heard by now, but if not, Ryan Reynolds, Canadian actor, got into a bit of an argument with the Boston Bruins. I would talk more about it but the link I am sending you to is the usual Boston trash where they complain about the TERRIBLE Canucks. Seriously, you won the cup, shut the **** up Boston. Rage flashbacks are coming back to me about the coverage the Canucks get sometimes.... [Some shitty website]
  • A more in depth story about Stevie P. I have nothing funny to add. I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ON. [Vancouver Sun]

 

NHL News and Notes:

  • Jody Shelley continues to try and prove people wrong by ensuring that everyone knows he is 100%  useless by running the Leafs Boyce from behind for no real reason. I assume Marchand logic was used? "Because I can." Dirty hit in the pre-season, that's bush league son. You need to save that stuff for the finals, Aaron Rome style. Go big or go home.

Jay Rosehill vs Jody Shelley - Sept 21st 2011 (HD) (via p00njabiHD)

  • Nothing warms my heart more than watching other fan bases bitching at anyone who comes near them. And such will be the case anytime you approach an Av's fan about Varlamov or Eric Johnson. Just whisper one of these names and watch them arch their backs and start hissing at you in an attempt to seem bigger and more threatening. Seriously, anytime Johnson or Varlamov makes one good play, they will be disecting it to prove they won the trades. "You see, Varly ordered a vegan burger which makes him a better person that that 1st rounder. Winner, Avalanche." Such is also the case over this sweet save Varlamov made during a scrimmage recently. Watch him rob Duchene on a shootout attempt. Now watch the YouTube comments fill up with Av's fan. My favorite comment by far HAS to be the: "Any other goalie on any other night and that's a goal. So glad we have [both Duchene and Varlamov." Cracks me up every time I read it. Not only do they want to prove that Varly is awesome, they also want it known that Duchesne is not at fault on this for not scoring.
  • Matthias Ohlund. Remember him? Well he remembers you. Which is why he took 17 penalty minutes in his game against St. Louis today because he still hates you and you make him angry. Alas those 17 minutes didn't help his team as the Bolts lost 4-3 to the Blues Wednesday Night. Chris Stewart had a goal for the Blues (Did you hear that? I think I heard an Av's fan shouting...) as the Bolts could do nothing to stop him. [Raw Charge]
  • People complain about Cody Hodgson being set up for failure? Let's play a game. Imagine an empty net. Now imagine Steve Bernier? What do you do? That's right, you walk away, because you know he's going to miss it. Which is what happened last night. And who is Sykora's linemate? Yup. Steve Bernier. Cody has it easy. Regardless, Sykora still managed a goal playing with "The Anchor" as the Devils pulled off a 2-1 win over hated Ranger rivals. Bite me Messier. [Fire and Ice]
  • Malkin made a victorious comeback against the Red Wings as the Pens beat our friends over at Winging it in Motown 3-2. I was going to link to the Pens blog but then I found out they named their blog "Pensburgh" which is just awful, so instead I send you to [Winging it in Motown] . Malkin did score a nice goal, but it was mostly because Jimmy Howard went into Dan Cloutier mode and decided to lower his shoulder for no reason. Watch it in all it's glory here:

 

 

  • The Capitals lost 4-3 to the Blue Jackets but somehow they try and convince themself they didn't overpay for Joel Ward. Read more at [Washington Post]
  • Toronto beat the Flyers 4-2, somehow finding a way to beat a team that dressed Jody Shelley. Said Pens GM Shero "To be honest, if we had known Shelley was available we just would have had Crosby put down and just handed the keys to Shelley." Read more at the Pension Plan Puppets who I am sure will take it easy on Shelley. [PPP]
  • Piece of shit Ehrhoff led the Sabres with two points en route to a 3-1 win over the Habs. I would link you to a recap of the game on the Sabres blog, but they don't have one yet. Instead you can read their gameday thread. I hope you have time to read 15 comments! Most of which are praising Ehrhoff. ENJOY YOUR MONEY. [Die By The Sword]
  • The Sens, playing in their Stanley Cup known as the pre-season, were winners on the night over the Bruins, 2-1. The Senators tried giving the Bruins some shots but for some reason they didn't want them. Unlike Ryan Reynolds, however, Mika Zibanejad shoved the shot down their throats in OT. [Silver Seven]
  • Since it isn't the playoffs, the Sharks were able to win tonight. OH SNAP. They beat the Ducks 6-1, with Logan Couture leading the charge with 2 points. Or as we in Vancouver know him, the guy on the ice who didn't see the puck bounce off the stanchion. [OC Register]
  • LA and Phoenix split their two games yesterday one game a piece. Raffi Torres had no points and was minus -1, giving the early edge to Sturm in my random comparison of two different role players. But in order to come to grips with his loss, that is how I am doing it. Arbitrarily comparing Torres to Sturm. And since nobody really wants to read up on two games from the Yotes and Kings, instead you can read how much LA fans seem to hate their new jerseys. [Jewels from the Crown]

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