Like Victor Oreskovich after a series winning goal against Chicago, my lack of hugs today has my motivation at a low point right. But much like Oreskovich managed to recover from his lack of hugs, I too will recover, using the same method Oreo did; I will call Raffi Torres and he will tell me to stop being a little ***** and to man up. Oh Raffi-Wan Kenobi, what will we do without you?
In other news, you may have heard Terrence Pegula has gone insane and is spending like it's 1994 and he owns the New York Rangers. So if you have ever wanted a shot at making a ton of money selling stuff on E-Bay, I suggest you cash in now by listing any NHL defenceman you currently own. I managed to make 9,000,000.00 from selling off the used Bryan McCabe I had in my basement.
News and notes after the jump!
Vancouver Canuck News:
- It's on days like this that I am so happy I know Thomas Drance. Ta-Da as he's now known to all of you. Work has been slowly killing my will to live this week, so I haven't had time to do recaps of the Young Stars games like I would have hoped. Luckily Ta-Da, now officially the 2nd highest rated Canucks blogger around, has been hard at work, pumping out the Canucks info. So if you are like me, and work has turned into Golddust and it's lining you up on the ropes for a shot to the groin (early 2000's wrestling references, yessssssssss), then you will enjoy this recap from Ta-Da about the latest Young Stars game. Adam "The Beast from the East" Polasek put on quite a showing, and aside from Ta-Da taking shots at his photogenic qualities, it's a great breakdown of the action that occurred last night. Give it a read at [Canucks Army]
- Ta-Da is so good, he gives us twice the content in half the time. He's like McDonald's, minus the heart attack inducing qualities. He has also put up a good article about how Mike Gillis is nothing more than a large fat black woman. Have I completely taken this article out of context? Damn straight I have. Are you intrigued? You bet you are. Go read it at [Canucks Army]
- You know hockey is truly back when Tony Gallagher slithers out from under the rocks to strike out at a random target, just to let them know who is boss. He's like Tony Soprano, sometimes you have to hurt someone just to let them know you still have the power. Today's victim? Poor Victor Oreskovich. Perhaps it was the weakness in Oreo's eyes when he was looking for a hug, maybe it was the fact people call him Oreo, but whatever it was, it set Tony out on the warpath as he attacks Victor for his poor performance in the finals. Then he turns his sights on everyone's favorite target, Alain Vigneault, and wonders when AV next says "Let them eat cake", are we allowed to cut off his head. Read it all at [Montreal Gazette]
- Want an article that only non Vancouver fans will find useful? Excellent! The National Post goes over what happened last summer for Vancouver, and what we can expect for this year. Shockingly, the riots were not mentioned. Obviously this reporter didn't get the memo. Every article should end with some sort of condescending remark about the riots. [National Post]
- The justice system, taking it's sweet ass time, has finally settled on a court date for the Steve Moore case. The best part of this story? They manage to mention Daniel Sedin getting punched in the face repeatedly by Brad Marchand. IT WAS SIX TIMES GUYS, COME ON. [Globe and Mail]
- Did you just drop $5.5 million a year on a defenseman? Oh no, that was Pegula again. Tyler Myers has been locked up for 7 years at around $5.5 a year on the ol' cap hit. Was it front loaded? Does a bear crap in the woods? You bet your sweet ass it was front loaded. God knows Myers needed $12 million up front, those sports cars aren't going to buy themselves. Remember the old days when you didn't have to woo RFA's, you just told them to suck it and for how long? Ah, memories. I chose the Calgary Herald link because of course they had to use a picture of Myers scoring against the Canucks. Love you too Calgary. [Calgary Herald]
- Puck Daddy was supposed to have a large article coming out about the NHL's new social media guidelines (Read: Anything to take Byznasty off of twitter), but he has not come through yet. So instead, I will link you to PD's article about Darren Mcarty's new job working at a pawn shop. I don't even have a joke for this. I hope you're proud of yourself, Greg. [Puck Daddy]
- Winging it in Motown, my favorite SBN partners in crime, have a fun caption contest they are starting up. If you want Detroit themed jokes and enjoy the color red, go read about it. As with all good ideas, I think we should steal their idea, run with it, then when they claim we stole it, freak out and sign a defenceman to a $12 million dollar deal. [Winging it in Motown]
- In case you want to see the Sharks fans reaction to last nights victory, go over to Fear the Fin and scroll down to the comments below. Feel free to mention "stanchions" as much as possible in that thread. And all year. Every day. [Fear the Fin]