It's Wednesday! That means I have been doing this for a whole week now! That's more commitment then I've shown to 85% of things in my life. History 12, I apologize, you deserved more from me. Hopefully you have been enjoying it so far, because just wait when the season kicks in, as my photoshops go off the charts.
As we all wait for training camp to start, we are left with the doldrums of summer, as we wade through article after article looking for any hockey story we can find. Does Kevin Bieksa find peaches too juicy? Is Ryan Kesler watching Glee or True Blood? Does Chris Tanev think hair gel, when properly used, gives him a heads up on the competition? These are the summer stories we chase down, intent upon proving how starved we are for hockey during the summer that any topic is covered as long as the word hockey is used.
So it is with this in mind that we bid farewell to the end of August, and we welcome September if for nothing else, for the fact that we soon get to see Aaron Rome confusedly skating around in circles as he prepares for what he fondly refers to as "That cold thingie I do fer a job" so we might actually have some real hockey talk soon. And maybe, if we're lucky, Tim Thomas will pump our tires this year, because lets face it, he kind of owes us. He was kind of a dick and he wasn't a very nice guest when we last saw him. Just saying.
Vancouver Canucks New:
- Are you a dick who stole Pringles from London Drugs during the riot? If so, the VPD wants a little chat with you! Should you turn yourself in you will get to learn the joys of the Vancouver judicial system which will probably end up with you somehow suing Vancouver and winning, so you can have all the free Pringles you could ever want. [Vancouver Courier]
- The Kurtenbloggers are up to no good again, blogging about the Canucks (They seem to have an obsession with this team) as they wonder if the Canucks have enough team toughness. The Canucks failings in the physical department, symbolized best by Marchand's six free punches he gave Daniel Sedin, has many people wondering if the Canucks have what it takes to beat a team like the Bruins. My answer would be of course to clone three Raffi's and let the ginger patrol behead the other team one player at a time, but apparently Mike Gillis is approaching this in the usual, boring, "we have team toughness" way which basically is the same thing as saying "Shit, I have no idea what we're going to do, I hope it works itself out." [Vancouver Province]
NHL News and Notes:
- Puck Daddy looks into the mysterious case of Drew Doughty, and tries to find out just what Drew Doughty wants. "Donuts. Lots of donuts. And potatoes." explains Doughty. [Puck Daddy]
- The Toronto Star caught up with some NHL rookies and asked them a variety of questions about the game of hockey. Such questions as "One a two on one, do you take the pass, the shooter, or lie down in the fetal position", "If Shea Weber winds up for a slap shot do you pee your pants first, then start praying, or do you pray first, then pee" and of course the old standby "If player A shoots the puck 17 times and player B shoots the puck 24 times, how many playoff games would Cloutier lose?" [Toronto Star]
- The Toronto Sun has a variety of NHL news for you to peruse. They cover a variety of topics including the LA Kings fan shockingly going with the black and silver color scheme (Gee, it's almost like Wayne Gretzky made those colors famous...), Mike Knuble's retirement plans, and of course, how many cups the Leafs would have won if Kerry Frasier had just made the right call on that high stick. [Toronto Sun]
Off the Stanchion Link:
- Funny single frame shots of hockey fights always make me giggle. [FunnyPhotos]
Video of the Day:
Let's all stop and remember on this Wednesday, a man who went for his dreams and wouldn't take no for an answer. Rafael, my hat goes off to you sir. Though you should have shot five hole after making fun of Theodore's hair. Everyone knows that's how to score on Theo.
And to end it off, let's go with a classic gif I made that celebrated Bieksa's love of the shots.
How many points is Keith Ballard going to get this year?
Keith....Bal....Balla......who? (4 votes)
HE WILL GET 50 POINTS BECAUSE I HAVE HIM IN MY KEEPER LEAGUE (10 votes)
0-30 points, but he'll also decapitate Cory Schneider at one point (62 votes)
40-50 points and then somehow Buffalo will void his contract with the Canucks and sign him to a 10 year deal (22 votes)
He'll get as many points as Aaron Rome tells him to get (53 votes)
151 total votes