What I've never understood: why are they called the Boston BRUINS?
We all know that brown bears, aka bruins, don't fucking live in Massachusetts.
In fact they don't live anywhere even NEAR Massachusetts:
So what the fuck is with the name? At least sharks do live off San Jose
But you know where brown bears DO live?
...in ass-kicking British Columbia, bitches.
...and do you know what we do when aggressive brown bears from time to time venture into the Vancouver area?
WE FUCKING DESTROY THEM.
Unfortunate, but true. Be warned Boston Bruins, be warned. You should run as far away as possible from Vancouver, because we will have no mercy. Run away to Memphis with the rest of the Grizzlies while you still have a chance. WE WILL DESTROY YOU.