FUCK YOU ITUNES. FUCK. YOU. FUCKING EAT SHIT AND DIE.
Ahem. With my phone currently DOA in the midst of a failed iTunes update, I will instead turn that rage and hatred towards the Canucks failings against the Hawks. I won't even attempt TSN comments today because I would most likely snap and attempt to stab my computer monitor.
Questions. Oh the questions:
What the fuck was that game?
Why are the Canucks so putrid 5 on 5?
Why is Ryan Kesler such a terrible linemate?
Why did the Sedins spend an entire shift trying to get the puck to Aaron Rome?
WHY THE FUCK DOES DANIEL SEDIN PASS THE PUCK WHEN HE IS OPEN AND ALONE IN THE SLOT?
Why do Canuck fans try and chant the opposing goalies name when we're down a goal?
What happened to our defensive coverage from last year?
Why doesn't Volpatti do anything?
Is Malholtra even playing?
Bah. Onto the news.
Vancouver Canucks News:
- I discovered Lapierre's Spirit Animal yesterday. It amused me. Well, it used to amuse me. Back when I allowed joy into my heart. iTunes, I hope you burn in hell. [Off the Stanchion]
- Canucks Army is running an Embrace the Hate campaign in which they invite people to troll Canuck fans, get local writers to defend indefensible arguments ("You had to punch Steve Moore that night. Did you see the way he was dressed? He was asking for it.), but in the end, will be donating money to charity. Proving once again that hate always pays. Yesterday they got a Chicago fan to talk about Canuck fans. [Canucks Army]
- A writer from Terrace, BC weighs in on the Canucks game and a touching story about how dogs are better than iTunes. At least that's how I read it. [BC Local News]
- The Canucks and Hawks talk about how not playing that well during the season can have bad long term effects. Such as losing in the playoffs. And not winning the Cup. Truly groundbreaking. [National Post]
- Cody Hodgson loves chess. He loves to mentally cripple people. Which probably makes last nights game so frustrating for him. Being check mated illegally by Alain Vigneault. "Dale Weise can't move there! You're cheating!" screamed a frustrated iTunes owner known as Cody Hodgson. [National Post]
- In my favorite story of the day, the Canucks lament the fact their sticks break so much. It's amusing to see players refuse to give up 5mph of a shot in exchange for a stick that breaks when you sneeze on it. [The Province]
- Is Brygzalov worried about facing his former team mates? No way. Why you heff to be like that? [Pottsmerc]
- Is Matt Cooke going to win a Lady Byng trophy? Nope, but he is "trending downwards" as the kids like to say these days. Cookie is laying off of the elbows and knees and is sticking to a steady diet of weak goals against startled goalies. [TSN.CA]
- TSN has a question of what Montreal should do with Scott Gomez, and not one option is cut off his head and bury him in a volcano. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP HIM. [TSN.CA]
- One of the investors from Dragon's Den has bought a piece of the Nashville Predators. He was said to be impressed by the "helicopter shoes and water balloon seats" that Nashville pitched to him.[CBC]
- Chris Stewart suspended 3 games by Shanahan. I assume he was given 3 games for letting up on the hit. Shanahan is on old time hockey mode this week, right? I never remember. [Vancouver Sun]
- Matt Lombardi is having a hard time dealing with his return to Nashville. He has many great memories of his 30 minutes of ice time with the team. [TSN.CA]
- It's official: Every GM in the league except for Chiarelli thinks Shanahan fucked up the Lucic decision. [Sports Illustrated]