And Boom Goes the Dynamite (Now with WELLWOOD POWER)

Kyle Wellwood. Spelling "Mittens" as "Mittins".

Look at that picture. That is my Kyle Wellwood jersey. Laugh if you want, but I bet you I was the first guy in Vancouver to have a Wellwood jersey, and damnit, I am proud of it. I loved his magic mittens. So much so that I got him to sign the jersey (Technically my friend got it signed for me since I had to work that day) and got him to sign it "Magic Mittens." Wellwood, as you can see, spelled it as "Magic Mittans" but that's not the point. The point is Wellwood is off to an amazing start for Winnipeg this year with 8 points in 11 games, and god knows how long his hot streak will last, so I am going to shower him in praise while I can damnit. Go Wellwood go! 

I just realized Wellwood must have done the tattoo for Brad Marchand. "Champians" and "Mittans".....it all makes sense.....it's the perfect crime....

As for how I am doing, thank you for asking by the way, the Province writing contest is probably slowly eating away at my soul and will forever leave me a changed man. But I am told sleep is for the weak and that writing until the late stages of night for free is a noble cause, so I stand firm in my commitment in winning this contest in the name of Nucks Misconduct and its fans everywhere. Then when there is a tweet up or I run into you in the streets, I can pretend I never knew you, and you can mention how I've changed. Then I'll throw my drink in your face and call you a bastard. You'll attack me with your house keys and I'll fall to the ground crying, saying I'm out of control. Eventually we will reach a truce, though. Things to look forward to folks, that is what I bring you. On to the news!

 

Vancouver Canuck News:

 

  • Friend of Nucks Misconduct (He brings us cookies) Joe Pelletier asks the question, "Are the Canucks tuning out Alain Vigneault." Tis a valid question, and based on Joe's mean peanut butter cookies, I am thinking he might have the answer. Go over and give it a read at [JP Slap Shots]
  • Kim Kardashian, Raffi Torres, and a priest walk into a bar.....ok I've been told by Sean I can't tell this joke. It's really funny and it involves the polar bears from Lost, but whatever Sean. 
  • Apparently Iain Macintyre heard about this new thing on Twitter kids were all trying called "humor" so Iain attempts at nailing out a joke about Lapierre in his article on the redemption of Mad Max. While the joke falls dying at our feet, begging to be shot in the head, the article remains a relevant theme for the season, as we see Higgins and Lapierre revive their careers with the Canucks. This is good because a) we all love seeing players get better on our team and b) it will probably make players more willing to sign here in order to get that magical turn around season. So out of the kindness of my heart, may I extend an invitation to Rick Nash to join our team so we can help him out? [Vancouver Sun]
  • CBS Sports has a preview of the Canucks/Flames tilt. Sadly there is nothing wrong with this article, so I can't make fun of CBS's lack of hockey knowledge. Instead I will reference the glowing puck Fox once used to make myself feel better. Hey, remember when Fox used a glowing puck? Yeah. Yeah that was awful. [CBS Sports]
  • And thus begins my quest to call David Booth "Grizz". We must all call him this. Why you ask? Because Kevin Bieksa is trying to get it to stick. And Booth doesn't want it to stick. Therefore it must stick. Also in this article, the Canucks rail on Don Cherry, and Aaron Rome is close to coming back, which of course means the famed Sulzer/Rome pairing we've all been waiting for is just around the corner. [Vancouver Sun]
NHL News and Notes:
  • The Vancouver Sun ran an interesting article on the "moment of silence"'s held before games, and the differences between those held overseas vs those held in North America. Hint: North America kind of sucks at it. Read more at: [Vancouver Sun]
  • Did you know, that when not spending time being really really drunk, Khabibulin is a good goalie? Well, for the month of October at least. Read more about Khabi's amazing start to the season over at [Edmonton Journal]
  • The LA times takes time out of its busy schedule for trying to point out Canuck failures to let us know that Phil "So glad I drafted him late in my pool" Kessel is dominating. It looks like Phil will be taking a picture of someone else being chosen last at this years all-star game! [LA Times]
  • This is where Edmonton gets to pretend Horcoff isn't a god awful salary by talking about how amazing he is to start the season. [Montreal Gazette]
  • Apparently Luongo isn't the only goalie getting less starts this year, as the Flames look to lessen the workload Kipper has to face this season. "Kiprusoff needs time to smoke his cigarettes, we can't be selfish asking him to play all the time" explained head coach Sutter.
  • An AWESOME article from our good friends at Winging it in Motown that involves the blurring of the lines between Mainstream Media and the blogging community. The story involves the plagiarism (plagiarists make me want to hurt things. Don't be a lazy asshole.) of a mainstream media article by a shitty blogger. Basically the point is the closer bloggers get to acceptance, the further we get pushed back by actions of bad bloggers. The hardest thing for an NHL organization to do is to know what the good blogs are, leaving us just that much further from getting the sacred media pass. Thankfully the Canucks seem to have a good handle on this and view Nucks Misconduct as one of the good ones. Even if I did do a half naked keg stand at social media night this year.[Winging it in Motown]
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