A Modest Proposal: Why the Canucks should trade Luongo for St. Louis
by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 10:13 AM PDT
in Trades
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PrintThe Province recently made headlines (literally - get it?) by publishing an editorial suggesting that the Canucks trade much-maligned goalie Roberto Luongo for Tampa Bay Lightning centre Vincent Lecavalier. No one much took this editorial seriously, but I think it was on to something - it just didn't have the details quite right.
Forget trading for Lecavalier. Instead, let's trade for St. Louis.
Let me explain why I think this would be of enormous benefit to the Canucks organization.
I bet you didn't know that St. Louis had 240 goals last year. 240 goals! The entire Canucks team only managed 262. Adding 240 goals to this roster would likely win us the division, and at least a couple of playoff rounds. Especially with Luongo out of here. Furthermore, adding St. Louis would significantly increase the Canucks' depth, giving Coach Vigneault a wider range of players to deploy during games.
Now, there are of course a few hitches with my proposal. For example, Luongo's new team - although adding a world-class goaltender - would of course have their depth significantly hurt by trading St. Louis. Fans, though thrilled by the addition of Luongo, might be somewhat alarmed that they would be forced to watch what is essentially an AHL-level group of skaters the rest of the season.
Furthermore, there is the old EA Sports NHL question - would the NHL approve such a trade? Certainly, there would be issues about competitive balance. But surely, acquiring the goaltender who led Team Canada to Gold in the 2010 Olympics would offset the loss of an entire roster? And let's be realistic - the Canucks wouldn't even get the most out of St. Louis. Sure, David Backes could slot in on the second line and Erik Johnson Alex Pietrangelo would relegate Andrew Alberts to the press-box. But let's be honest here, St. Louis would mostly serve as depth for the already talent-laden Canucks roster. Although, as last night's performance demonstrated, St. Louis may be able to push some Canucks starters for more ice-time.
So sure, there are a few flaws with my proposal, and for these I apologize - as a humble fan and blogger, I obviously lack the general manager acumen possessed by the Province editorial board. But I still think this is a reasonable - if modest - proposal, and one that Mike Gillis should seriously contemplate.
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Erik Johnson is now on Colorado. Right. What happens when I write stuff at 230am.
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Why you should never judge a post by its headline...
@FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone
For Fuck Sakes… RT @nucksmisconduct: A Modest Proposal: Why the Canucks should trade Luongo for St. Louis sbn.to/uyHioM
@FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone
Just because start by critiquing writing that screams of cheap heat, doesn’t make another steaming pile of any less ridiculous. #Canucks
@FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone
With every trade proposal it becomes perfectly clear #Canucks fans deserve the bad rep, we really do suck.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 10:43 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
punked!
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 10:46 AM PDT up reply actions
What I find very funny
is that I went to high school with this guy.
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 10:47 AM PDT up reply actions
Ashton Kutcher?
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions
keeding
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions
Never trust a guy who retweets Ben Kuzma on more than one occasion.
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions
OH SNAP
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
+2
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 27, 2011 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions
How drunk were you last night, Chuck?
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by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions
probably no less drunk
than he normally is.
<3 Boobies!
notafullcolon CS: Well obviously I meant we were snorting blow off hookers at the time of the goal
Not at all
why?
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 27, 2011 8:01 PM PDT up reply actions
Funny
Apparently he has issue with the “thrust” of a joke topic poking fun at another article lol.
FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone
I love me some @NucksMisconduct but I read the entire article. It’s the title, clarity and thrust of piece I respectfully have beef with.
FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone
I’m totally still a punk though, that you have right.
FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone
And if the concept/meme of trading Luongo for rediculous things is supposed to be funny, I’m not in the mood to laugh. #Canucks
I love retracting statements.
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 11:28 AM PDT up reply actions
that was a retraction?
<3 Boobies!
notafullcolon CS: Well obviously I meant we were snorting blow off hookers at the time of the goal
Guess not. THANKS LAWYARRR
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by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 12:31 PM PDT up reply actions
OMG
I’m a pirate lawyer!
<3 Boobies!
notafullcolon CS: Well obviously I meant we were snorting blow off hookers at the time of the goal
par·o·dy/ˈparədē/
Noun:
An imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect.
Guess it’s not everyone’s bag. But given that I chose to write a parody, the “title, clarity and thrust of the piece” would certainly be affected by this stylistic choice.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 11:30 AM PDT up reply actions
HE MAD
O HE MAD
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 27, 2011 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions
Ironic lol.
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by ShiftySC on Oct 27, 2011 12:16 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Oh, Shifty.
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 12:18 PM PDT up reply actions
and yet you've provided evidence
as to why its perfectly acceptable to judge Canucks fans based on simple tweets
<3 Boobies!
notafullcolon CS: Well obviously I meant we were snorting blow off hookers at the time of the goal
OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 12:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Make him an assistant coach!
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions
The new sleep specialist.
On second thought maybe we can just put him in charge of player development.
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh I get it!
It didn’t even occur to me that the headline could be mistaken for Martin St. Louis lol. I thought it was a joke topic all the way.
But judging from a few twitter comments, people really need to read more…
I was hoping the joke would last past the jump, where I assume 99% of hockey fans would start to clue in.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 11:02 AM PDT up reply actions
And English Lit. nerds
Should have guessed it was a parody as soon as they read the words “A Modest Proposal” :)
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 11:14 AM PDT up reply actions
I also thought Martin St. Louis, which I thought was at least somewhat defensible.
And then I read past the jump. And this made my day.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.
That was a logical conclusion, (not to mention, MY understanding after reading the headline). Especially since St. Louis also plays for the Lightning.
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by Vancouverguy on Oct 27, 2011 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions
That’s what I was hoping for, obviously. I was going to play up the headline more, maybe by saying “Forget Lecavalier, let’s trade Luongo for St. Louis” – but I really wanted to keep “A Modest Proposal” in there as it’s probably the most famous literary parody, and the headline was already long enough.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions
but I really wanted to keep "A Modest Proposal" in there as it’s probably the most famous literary parody
you do realize how craptastic high-school English classes are nowadays, right?
it’s so bad, i had to learn punctuation and grammar in French Immersion, with a refresher in a 2nd-year “Writing for Economics” course!
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@NM_missy
I actually didn’t get that reference either. sheepish That’s why I’m a Science grad!
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by Vancouverguy on Oct 27, 2011 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Damn, that sucks. Pretty sure I read a Modest Proposal in English Lit 12, but that’s an elective that I imagine many science-minded folks don’t take. Kinda like how I didn’t take Math 12 or any Grade 12 science course (tapped out after Math and Chemistry 11).
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 8:50 PM PDT up reply actions
i wanted to take Lit 12, but it got overruled by calculus. as did entrepreneureship.
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@NM_missy
Awesome. Totally read it as Martin St. Louis too. Well played. I don’t know A Modest Proposal, so that hint didn’t tip me off. It was just Shakespeare, Shakespeare, Shakespeare in highschool…
This year.
Goaltender is a normal job. Sure. How would you like it if at your job, every time you made the slightest mistake a little red light went on over your head and 18,000 people stood up and screamed at you? - Jacques Plante
How about?
To Lu, or not to Lu, that is the question;
Whether tis nobler in the crease to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous Nucks fans,
Or to take my talents to South Beach?
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions 8 recs
Awesome haha
Rogers Arena - the Sugarbowl!
by Big Blue Whale on Oct 29, 2011 1:07 AM PDT up reply actions
That sucks
It always struck me that people who wanted to go into the Sciences had way more prerequisites than Arts. I had friends who took Bio, Chem and Physics 12 plus Math and Calculus. My Grade 12 sched was: English Lit, French, Geography, PE, History, and…. I actually can’t remember the 6th course.
But my point being, I didn’t have as many intense classes that I had to take like science-oriented people did.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions
I loved that about going the Arts route. I took similar courses (History, Geo, Comparative Civilizations, French), plus had space for Ceramics and Photography.
A lot more freedom to experiment than the Sciences.
This year.
Goaltender is a normal job. Sure. How would you like it if at your job, every time you made the slightest mistake a little red light went on over your head and 18,000 people stood up and screamed at you? - Jacques Plante
History, French and Journalism
holy shit its been more then 5 years since I graduated high school.
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 28, 2011 8:01 PM PDT up reply actions
yep
for sciences, you need all 3 science 11 courses, as well as at least 2 of the 3 grade 12 ones.
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@NM_missy
plus Math and English, of course.
and those of us in French also had that too.
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@NM_missy
I ended up with Phys/Chem/Bio/Math 12, AND Chem/Bio/Math AP. I’m a nerd.
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by Vancouverguy on Oct 28, 2011 8:40 AM PDT up reply actions
AP Bio/AP History ftw.
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by eightyseven on Oct 28, 2011 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions
i had Chem/Math/French 12 one term, Calculus/Eng/Phys 12 the next term.
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@NM_missy
I envied people on semester system.
I had to take all 8 courses together the entire year. 8 midterms, 8 year-end finals/provincials. GG.
Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill.
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Yeah, the semester system seems much better for Provincial Exams. I was lucky in that I got two exams out of the way by the middle of Grade 12, so only had to write three in June. I can’t imagine doing 8 exams all at once – that is crazy! It sucks to have to leave everything for the end of the year (when you just want to BE EFFING DONE high school).
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 28, 2011 2:04 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, you get used to it since I was under the same system for five consecutive years. I loved the semester system once I hit freshman year. One subject didn’t drag on for an entire year like it did in high school.
Diamonds on my neck, di-diamonds on my grill.
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middle school was a combination: core classes lasted all year, electives were split into 3 terms.
high school was just 2 semesters with 4 classes in each.
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@NM_missy
Just remembered, also took English AP in Grade 12. Did the English provincial in Grade 11, that’s why I couldn’t remember.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 28, 2011 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Haha, sorry I just realized how pretentious that comment sounded. I was really just thinking aloud as it was bothering me that I couldn’t remember 6 classes! Pretty sad memory I have.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 29, 2011 8:19 AM PDT up reply actions
Funnily enough
A Modest Proposal was taken seriously by and caused a great deal of outrage amongst many people at the time. Basically the author suggested that the Irish alleviate hunger and poverty by eating babies – but presented it in a matter-of-fact and logical way that lulled people into thinking he was serious.
Obviously I was not keeping much of a straight face throughout this post… but I was trying to write it so that it at least appeared to be a legit trade proposal for part of the way through. Apparently it fooled a few folks, temporarily at least.
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by nucksandpucks on Oct 27, 2011 8:56 PM PDT up reply actions
hehe
this has totally made my day…
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My whole office
Got a good chuckle out of it though. Including the reaction others have had who didn’t get the hint in the title / read the actual article.
Oh it’s an awesome article. The outraged comments are just the icing on the cake, hahah
by The Stanchion on Oct 27, 2011 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions
I love it
’cause it explicit shows who actually reads the articles they critweet. Fools.
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions
exactly!
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions
critweet
I like that
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
For a second I thought you guys wanted Martin St. Louis, not the St. Louis blues.
Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
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by Kevin Sellathamby on Oct 27, 2011 11:34 AM PDT reply actions
that’s what everyone is thinking at first.
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@NM_missy
CUE WOLFCASTLE
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions
............
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by Plea From A Cat Named Felix on Oct 27, 2011 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions
thank you
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 27, 2011 11:56 AM PDT up reply actions
I'd take St. Louis over St. Louis.
Occupy Vancouver!
by Bobby Canuck on Oct 27, 2011 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions
I had a feeling there was something fishy here, but if it was legit I was going to make a smartass comment about how trading him for an entire team would not be a bad idea.
Nucks Misconduct's chief slab of man meat.
Even Tallon would think that was the stupids.
Now when I walk in everybody do the power clap. Clap x4
Ɔoɔounʇs ƃo˙ tweet tweet
by eightyseven on Oct 27, 2011 11:38 AM PDT up reply actions
But that wouldn’t stop him from making said deal now, would it? Especially if it saves management a ton of money.
Frequent visitor to Nucks Misconduct.
by Vancouverguy on Oct 27, 2011 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions
GOLD
SO MUCH GOLD
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 27, 2011 11:58 AM PDT reply actions
but the reactions
are diamonds
<3 Boobies!
notafullcolon CS: Well obviously I meant we were snorting blow off hookers at the time of the goal
Ha!
genius.. although isn’t Marty worth more than the entire St Louis roster anyway?
enough of the niceties: time for the eye-gouging..
Great work… you had me wondering until I read past the jump. I thought you’d really lost your marbles. Well done!
Before i read past the jump I was ready to exile him to CDC
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 1:33 PM PDT up reply actions
haha!
The first thing I thought when I saw the tweet pop up was “oh brother”
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
on a related note
I HAVE fantasized about having Marty on the Canucks. Too bad it’s impossible. Also would we get St. Louis’ cap allowance in the trade? If we don’t there will be one hall of a day on waivers.
I win stupid today.
I didn’t get the St Louis reference right, oh, until about halfway through the comments.
I’m gonna blame Luongo for my failing. Everybody else does.
"I'll play on one leg, I don't care..."
that depends.
if you just read the start and skipped to the comments, that’s your own damn fault.
if you still read the entire story, then yeah you have a problem there.
Nucks Misconduct writer, inter-blogging etiquette queen.
@NM_missy
missy, so blunt. Love it.
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm not sure
That any excuse I might have for not getting it is going to do any good. Let’s just go with I have a problem. At least, today I do. I’m usually much quicker. Ha. Oh well. Someone’s got to be the idiot in the village. /shrug
"I'll play on one leg, I don't care..."
it’s all right, it used to be me all the time who never caught on to anything around here.
i’m getting better.
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@NM_missy
It’s all good :) You’re just getting ribbed in a missy kind of way.
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Or is it Meg? Hellloooooo Meg!
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions
i recently rediscovered Road to the Multiverse.
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@NM_missy
and noticed i kinda look like her….
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@NM_missy
Well sheeeeeit ....
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Try that again:
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions
not modest enough
the hockey team? why not trade roberto for the city of st. louis itself? sure, it might not get us any closer to the cup, but at least the canucks and their fans will be able to console themselves by driving golf balls into glass windows, drinking beer straight from the tap in abandoned pubs, and generally living out every zombie-apocalypse fantasy they have.
at the very least we can ruin someone else’s city at the end of the playoff’s
and generally living out every zombie-apocalypse fantasy they have.
I like the sound of that.
Double tap!
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 3:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Technically
If we trade for the city we own it, so we’d just be trashing an extension of our own city…
woah
SBNation just crashed for 20 minutes, how the heck did your comment post?
Nucks Misconduct writer, inter-blogging etiquette queen.
@NM_missy
beer straight from the tap?
sounds like my kind of town
but aside from that
Do not enter the city. It belongs to the dead Blues now.
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 27, 2011 8:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Amazing piece nucksandpucks. Had me going pretty good, especially cuz it was on the front page of NM, the defender of all things Luongo! I thought hell had frozen over. :)
"Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
This is great.
Are there other guys in the NHL with last names the same as cities/towns/countries? We could make this a daily feature.
"Giggs gets past Viera, past Dixon, who comes back at him, it's a wonderful run from GIGGS!!!" - Martin Tyler
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by Section 312 on Oct 27, 2011 8:24 PM PDT reply actions
Parise is close to Paris
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
Armstrong, yeah I got nothing
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 27, 2011 11:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Paris(e)
DO WANT!
Frequent visitor to Nucks Misconduct.
by Vancouverguy on Oct 28, 2011 8:42 AM PDT up reply actions
Dallas (Drake)
(Danny) Richmond
Sidney (Crosby)
THERE IS ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!
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by Chuckles Canuckles on Oct 28, 2011 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Sidney! FFS!
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by Sean Zandberg on Oct 28, 2011 10:32 PM PDT up reply actions
CROSBY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's Go Pens! Let's Go Nucks!
Hope Sid is back soon. And I hate the Boston Bruins.
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Twitter as PensNucksDenver.
by HockeyFanInColorado on Oct 29, 2011 8:22 AM PDT up reply actions
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