Good morning brothers and sisters, I know we have a lot to get through today, as dark forces have conspired to get the game on early. Though we were beaten by the forces of darkness and bandwagonnering on Friday, we are not broken, and the Lord said to me "Though the season series is tied, we scored one more goal so we are claiming victory. And Andrew Ladd shall not pass through these gates, so fear not, for he is a douchebag most unholy". But we have little time to savour victories, moral or otherwise. The wolves in sheep's clothing await us in Tennessee, and we must be prepared.
The Predators of Nashville are a strange anomaly, brothers and sisters. They exist in a land that cares not about this blessed game, yet somehow they survive. The temple at which they play has had more name changes than we've had jerseys, and they somehow have managed not to get rid of their coach. Now I know he is frightening to look at, but the Lord assures me he's just ugly and not of the Devil.
One often thinks of Nashville as the home of country music, wholesome and good, a slice of Americana. I say it's home to harlots and tramps, liars and drunks! Songs of wanton sex, drinking, gambling and all sorts of immoral behavior! And don't get me started on Dolly Parton! Stop that snickering back there, I hear you...
Now I know that one of the heroes that led our glorious nation to gold plays for the enemy today, but you need not worry, for the Lord has seen fit to smite him, just a little bit, giving us the advantage, being his preferred children and all that.
Much like the Isrealites, it feels like we have been wandering forever, just looking for our home, and we will have to cross treacherous mountain peaks and the searing hot desert before we get to the promised land, but I assure you, it will be worth it, brothers and sisters. This time the soldiers shall not fail. This time we shall raise the chalice high. Our saviour shall lead us, in the name of the one most holy, praise be to Luongold. Amen.
Now, we have refreshments in the back, and I do believe Sean brought Rice Krispie squares.