"Shoot toward the top shelf, where Auntie Niemi keeps the cookies."
"If you don't get your way, cry."
"Luongo NEVER PLAYS THE PUCK, ever, so don't get back on defense."
*drawing of naked lady*
"Coach's mustache reminds me of my babysitter back in kindergarten, wild."
"Remember: HIT TOEWS, don't expect a pass from him."
"Skate around like an idiot, that will distract him."
"Tip: Invest in P90X. That workout from the TV. Chicks dig abs."
"Remember: The guys in Red are NOT YOUR TEAMMATES."
"[expletive deleted] it, they HAVE to be booing."
Tonight, we get another chance to see if the book on Luongo is gospel or if it's just some wild scribbling from a hockey player as the Vancouver Canucks take on the Chicago Blackhawks in a game your fellow correspondent will actually get to see and enjoy because I have the night off! (I work graveyard shifts, and don't drink on work nights. Lame, but it keeps me out of trouble.) Other storylines include:
--The end of the Olympic love. It seems as though teams are giving their Olympic participants pre-game recognition. This would be the Blackhawks second home game since the Olympic break, but we'll see if the Blackhawks fans give it up one more time for Kesler. Bet against it, despite this matchup featuring 13 Olympians.
--The Roberto Luongo redemption tour. Everyone remembers what happened last year at the United Center. Luongo said as much, claiming "There's always a little something the year after" to canucks.com, implying he's still righteously ticked after last year. Other Canucks share his sentiment. Can some demons be exorcised tonight?
--Debut. Andrew Alberts, throw your 6' 5" frame around in there, get yourself a name in Vancouver.
--Almost home. Eight days until the Canucks and Senators drop the puck in Vancouver! It's almost here! Run to the hills!
I hate these Chicago Blackhawks. I hate the fact they put advertisements up behind the goal, I hate their Byfuglien characteristics, I hate that they think they've never won shit, I hate their sense of entitlement, I hate their fans that are around this area (this has been previously reported on), I... wait, I love how they cheer all the way through the American National Anthem. That's great. Everything else, hate-fest. Canucks can take my hate and turn it into goals, saves and hits. Get 'em.