So you've finally found a way to watch the hockey game at a sports bar. Congratulations. Tonight, your favorite team is up against Liberty City's Ice Knights, which means, hopefully, your sports bar will be free of any fans rooting against the visiting team. Sure, both of you enjoyed/experienced/gagged on Mark Messier as an active player on your roster, but tonight, the only common element both your teams have is a high profile player named Henrik. With that being said, here's your guide to maximizing enjoyment of the game!
PRE-GAME: Stake out spot in sports bar that reminds you most of home, preferably the one closest to a wall in case you need to lean on it later (why later? keep reading). Shoot glare at fans who are cheering for other teams/other sports going on and mock their struggles heroically. Order your favorite beer and an appetizer. Hell, order two.
CANUCKS SCORE FIRST!!! That's why you came here. You wanted to see how others would react. You know your family's reaction. Your wife will fake a cheer, your kid will stare blankly at the television, and your pet will do what he always does. It's a shame, however, you're the only one cheering. Get yourself another beer.
RANGERS STRIKE BACK. Quietly sip your beer. Do not get too crazy. Do not answer the phone -- your co-worker is calling, taunting you. Ask waitress for an RC Cola.
RANGERS SCORE AGAIN. From here on out you can do one of two things... take a shot any time the Rangers score or take a shot any time the Canucks, you know, take a shot. It's Tuesday Night in the city...
RAYCROFT GETS PULLED. Sing your favorite song.
SCHNEIDER GETS SCORED ON. Can't help you there.
Hopefully you remembered to get a seat against the wall because balance becomes an issue after a couple drinks and the wall is there to save your ace and your face. Leave a good tip and drag yourself home, knowing the road ahead is long indeed...
Then go puke in Marian Gaborik's yard.
PRED: NYR 4, VAN 2