10 Things To Do While Waiting For Vancouver To Play Again
by Yankee Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 8:10 AM PST
56 comments
10. Fondly relive the magic and the legend that was Mikko Jokela's time with Vancouver.
9. Go to the Province or the Sun and see if you can find the most inane, off-base comment from the past week or two. For instance, here's a thoughtful submission courtesy of "FireGillis":
Gillis' big mistake this summer was handing the worst contract in NHL HISTORY to the italian.
(ed note: As an Italian I am proud to say - we're finally #1 at something)
8. Pick a player from the existing roster, or a member of management, and why he should play which character in Star Wars (episodes IV-VI, don't bother with the others). And suffice it to say Mike Gillis gets to be the emperor. Princess Leia? Probably best to keep that one to yourself.
7. Figure out why Sami Salo isn't smiling here. Or explain why Mattias' game trumps that of Sami's.
6. Help Mike Gillis find another aging Swedish diva to chase. Any name will do, from Carl Abrahamsson to Lars-Erik Esbjörs to Eilert Määttä to even Ulf Thors. The more diacritic marks over vowels the better. Explain why he'd be a good member for the top six. Show your work.
5. Three words: Pavol Demitra Operation. Fun for the whole family probably no one.
4. "Dump and chase" is a boring phrase. Help make AV feel better about his offensive strategery by coming up with another name. Make it sound impressive, like "Offensive Thrust" or "Aggressive Vision". How about "It Never Works"...wait, not that.
3. Create another Kyle Wellwood Twitter trending topic. Bonus points if you can weave in lack of scoring, soccer injuries, $1,200,000 and Fudgie the Whale. Gold star if you can actually bring Twitter down so we can say Wellwood forced the Fail Whale on humanity.
2. Using a space gun (or Project Harp which, if you're a conspiracy nut, is a means to control weather), pick only one of the following NHL players to fire into the exosphere: Chris Pronger, Zack Stortini, Steve Ott, Cal Clutterbuck, Sean Avery, Dion Phaneuf or Dustin Byfuglien. And, yes of course, Pierre McGuire is an acceptable substitution.
1. It's only a matter of time before Shane O'Brien slips up to the press about his icetime so help our 7th defenseman with a more colorful script, Mad Libs style. Use his rant from March as practice:
"He said: 'If you're not going to [NOUN], get off the [VERB] [NOUN]...That's all he [ADJECTIVE], and I just went back to the [NOUN]. Nothing [PLURAL NOUN] me right now. It seems [ADVERB] that the more [ADJECTIVE] you are, it seems to be a [ADJECTIVE] thing. I don't [VERB]."
0 recs |
56 comments
|
Email
Print
Comments
#Wellwoodissoinvisible no one could figure out where the buffet went.
by thelastjohnny on Nov 18, 2009 8:55 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
dang, you're better at this than I am
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 10:48 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I’ve got some, but I’m too busy at work.
Ryan Kesler is Han Solo though. Gotta say.
AV is Jabba The Hut.
Rick Rypien is the Bounty Hunter Bobba Fett
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 18, 2009 11:04 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
AV snags Wellfed’s role?! I guess he could stand to run around the track a few times.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 11:07 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Kyle Wellwood is an Ewok.
I’d say Salo is General Grievous, due to his lack of health.
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 18, 2009 11:07 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Grabner for Luke Skywalker. He spent the first part of the movie running about kinda confused and whining about not being able to get off winnipegooine. Then he found he had the strength and ability, but got his hand chopped off. Also, I think deep down he really does believe there’s still some good in Dustin Byfuglien.
Daniel and Henrick as R2 and C3P0 cuz they’re pretty much always in the scene together except when 3dankp0 is chopped up in pieces
Too bad we lost Pyatt; he coulda been the princess cuz he’s so pretty.
by GAHHHHH! on Nov 18, 2009 12:27 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
If it was this time last year with kesler as han solo that would make burrows chewbacca…but this year…i dunno; raymond is no chewbacca. Hrmmm…who would Mason Raymond be? He’s certainly become a key member of the cast. With his speed he could be the milennium falcon I guess… with his cockiness…uh…lando calrissian, except for a slight skintone mismatch?
by GAHHHHH! on Nov 18, 2009 12:44 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Haha. Raymond is one of those little droids on the Death Star that squeals and runs away from Chewbacca.
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 18, 2009 1:37 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Blackout is Vader? hmm…not powerful enough.
I guess Bernier could be Jar Jar because he talks funny and he’s almost useless :)
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 18, 2009 11:10 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
I was going to say if Nonis was still here then he’d be Jar Jar.
by marcness52 on Nov 18, 2009 11:20 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
“If you’re not going to [ARENA], get off the [SMILE] [TENT]…That’s all he [NARROW], and I just went back to the [GLOVE]. Nothing [TREES] me right now. It seems [QUICKLY] that the more [BLUE] you are, it seems to be a [SMALL] thing. I don’t [RUN].”
by marcness52 on Nov 18, 2009 11:30 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
#7: He’s not smiling cuz he has no puck bunnies. He has no puck bunnies cuz the GM sent out a memo on ‘hockeywhores.com’ that no puck bunnies can puck bunny sami salo cuz they’ll break him. The punishment for disobeying this would be a cancelled gym membership and no starbucks. He is the glass menagerie, u know.
by GAHHHHH! on Nov 18, 2009 12:20 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
…quietly upgrading his RSS feed with hockeywhores.com…
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 1:58 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Mathieu Schneider as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the wise old owl
by British Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 12:33 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Welcome British Canuck…and absolutely, Schneider is a wise ol’ fart
If Sundin was still here he’d be Jabba’s freaky looking sidekick.
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 18, 2009 12:36 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Or maybe Sundin would be Darth Vadar after Luke removes his helmet in Return of the Jedi to reveal that the most feared man in the galaxy was actually on old bald dude
by British Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 12:47 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Darth Vader’s a simp, doesn’t even take off his helmet during a fight. Might make a good goalie, tho, using “the force” to stop pucks before they go into the net.
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 18, 2009 1:22 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Perfect! Now let’s see him gag Patrick Kane on his own mouthpiece!
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 18, 2009 1:52 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
So I am not the only one that wants to see that little shit lose all his teeth? Keep the thing in your mouth while the puck is in play FFS.
by Section 312 on Nov 18, 2009 2:11 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
i'd be happy to see him get the bobby clarke makeover
johan franzen is not a fan of it either
by bitterguy on Nov 18, 2009 4:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I remember that. Franzen was sick and tired of the little pr*ck, but it would have been ungentlemanly to pick a fight with someone so much smaller than he … so he just “sent a message” instead as to who was boss. Nicely done.
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 18, 2009 5:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Good thing there’s no groin area on that Demitra Surgery game. It wouldn’t come with any balls.
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 18, 2009 1:56 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Hahaha. We’re such a caring group of folks.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 1:58 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Haha, can you imagine if they’d added that to the original “Operation” game? Man, the therapists’d be cleaning up today!
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 18, 2009 2:04 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I prefer to visit Analrapists only. I need the help of both a therapist and an analyst.
by Section 312 on Nov 18, 2009 2:11 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
It took me a minute to get the pun. Up till then I was kinda wondering why you’d say such a thing. Then my dim bulb finally went less dim: ANALyst+ theRAPIST for those still going “hmmm,” btw.
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 18, 2009 2:29 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Man, I miss arrested development.
by Beantown Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 10:55 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I think the actual Operation guy
Is anatomically correct for Pavol.
Chicagoan in the Lou.
by Mike Martin on Nov 18, 2009 5:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
that operation demo pic is awesome
my take on the sad sack 5th wheel that is sami salo:
one of the girls jumped on his lap and broke his junk, so he had to watch the rest of the game from the press box.
it’s funny because it’s true.
by bitterguy on Nov 18, 2009 4:11 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Done with help of my roommate
“He said: ‘If you’re not going to heater, get off the shooting apple…That’s all he slippery, and I just went back to the TV. Nothing cats me right now. It seems fast that the more smelly you are, it seems to be a hard thing. I don’t fuck.”
If he said this, I’d be afraid he’s having a stroke.
Chicagoan in the Lou.
by Mike Martin on Nov 18, 2009 5:19 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
damn, why do i have to find this AFTER everyone said all the fun stuff? funny stuff, boys.
truth be told, i’d like to be princess leia ;) just have to decide who my han solo will be….;)
i mean no harm. i come in peace. unlike shane o'brien or kevin bieksa........
watch out for the Rypper too, he can whip anyone.......
GO CANUCKS GO!
by missy on Nov 18, 2009 9:56 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Keslord kinda looks like Harrison ford I think.
by Beantown Canuck on Nov 18, 2009 10:54 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I always thought Leia should have ended up with Luke. Now in no other situation would I advocate for incest. But imagine how strong in the force their baby would be….a little inbred retarded Yoda.
Am I the only one who has thought of this?
by Section 312 on Nov 19, 2009 1:25 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Oh, you said “Yoda!” Heh.
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 19, 2009 2:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
No no, Sean, as in “Yo da man!”
Why? What were you thinking?
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 19, 2009 4:23 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Then thou art indeed wise.
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 19, 2009 6:05 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
i was wondering when you’d comment about that….
i mean no harm. i come in peace. unlike shane o'brien or kevin bieksa........
watch out for the Rypper too, he can whip anyone.......
GO CANUCKS GO!
by missy on Nov 19, 2009 8:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I’m still chuckling at S312’s (inadvertent?) pun. Help me, my Y chromosome has the giggles and it won’t stop!
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 20, 2009 1:59 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
You gotta love the old “Oh you said….” joke on a message board.
Oh and by making everyone talk about how you took an uncalled for shot at yoata I feel like the genius of my joke kind of got pushed to the side. :(
by Section 312 on Nov 20, 2009 11:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I took a shot? Hey man, it was your pun! Surely you were aware of it as you wrote it, right?
Er, not that I didn’t enjoy myself. If you were a woman, I would have replied, “now that’s a cunning stunt” and left it at that.
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 20, 2009 2:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
a little inbred retarded Yoda.
Is that what you are talking about? I am confused. That quote has everything to do with Star Wars and Luke and Leia having a baby together since they are siblings. It never had anything to do with yoata who many times in the past has explained his name has nothing to do with Star Wars. yoata never even entered my thoughts when I was writing that.
by Section 312 on Nov 20, 2009 2:26 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
No, casual was being a wise-ass.
by Sean Zandberg on Nov 20, 2009 2:30 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Then I am so sorry. I completely misinterpreted your comment and thought it was about yoata, not yoda. Even tho you said yoda and never wrote yoata I thought it alluded to yoata even tho yoata never entered my thoughts either.
My bad!
The opposite of serious is not funny; the opposite of serious is unserious.
by casual on Nov 20, 2009 2:31 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Ok no worries. I agree with yoata on a lot of things so I wouldn’t take a shot at him like that. Not until next week when we find something to disagree about.
by Section 312 on Nov 20, 2009 2:38 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Nucks Misconduct
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recommended FanPosts
Recent FanPosts
Follow The Misconduct
 |
 |
Latest Puck Daddy - NHL from Yahoo! Sports
- Tuesday's Three Stars: Nitty keeps rolling; Sens rebound
- Kari Lehtonen traded to Dallas, Turco move to come?
- Puck Previews: 'Hawks, Stars battle; Franzen in for Sweden?
- Evgeni Nabokov puts his name in the Vezina race
- Puck Daddy chats with Brandon Yip about life as a rookie, his first NHL game, Colorado’s success this season and the upcoming Olympics
SBNation.com Recent Stories
SCOREBOARD
Certain photos copyright © 2010 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
